I Became the Coach That I Wish I Had
Last modified 2 weeks, 4 days ago.
My father would often say to me, ‘If you would have just listened to me, you would have been a soccer success. You would have been a great athlete and player.’
But my soccer days were often filled with verbal and psychological abuse.
For example, as a middle-school student, I was self-teaching myself how to make websites and graphic design. I really enjoyed it. I was geeking out hard sometimes. But one day, my father forced me to delete everything off of the computer. Every program. Every site I made. Everything. Gone.
Why? He said it was taking away from my soccer career. It was really upsetting. I’m not upset anymore, but I do wonder how things would have been different if I had been encouraged to develop my intellect more, instead of spending so much time and energy in sports.
My father was trying to relive his own youth vicariously through me.
I’m not upset at him about it. Not at all. It’s OK–really. We can heal. We can move on spiritually. I’ve done that.
Now I have come to understand more why I went through the effort that I went through to become the fitness professional that I am.
Gosh, it took…
So many hours studying…
So many hours in unpaid internships…
So much sacrifice…
I sold my home in order to have the money and time to go back to school…
I hope I am not sounding melodramatic. It just took a lot to even get to the level that I am at in my own self development.
But it feels like everything is illuminated now.
I don’t have questions about what an athlete does or does not need to succeed. I know far more than enough now. I don’t have questions about what I could or could not have done better. It’s all crystal clear now.
I guess, all this time, I really was just trying to become the coach that I wish I had.
Ironically, now that I am that person, if someone asked, I would tell them to be very careful pursuing a career in athletics.
It’s going to take a lot out of you. It’s largely a zero-sum game. You’re going to get hurt… often, too.
There are much better ways to find fulfillment, develop yourself, and have a great life.
The world’s obsession with hyper-organized, hyper-competitive sports is, well… quite foolish.
For 99% of participants, there’s a lot of opportunity cost that comes with athletics.
But here’s the catch (for the True Athlete)…
If that couldn’t discourage you, then you have a chance to make it. It means you’re cut out to be a serious athlete. Because a serious athlete, someone whose heart and soul is in the game, doesn’t need encouragement, nor can they be discouraged. If you are that person, I say, you go for it with 100%. Give it everything you have got! You owe it to yourself. I know what that feeling and passion is like. Just freaking go for it. Take care of yourself. Don’t be careless with your health–it will matter to you later. But go for it!
Once you’re done with that life, and you will be done, because you cannot perform at your highest level forever, if you’re not too bruised and battered, then you’ll have lessons and experiences that many people just will never have. You put yourself on the line physically. You lived at your edge. Those who have always played it safe just can’t understand that.
As for me, I got to the other side OK.
I have some nagging pains and injuries. I never really accomplished anything special athletically. But I’m OK. I’m at peace with it.
And I feel tremendous that I was able to become the coach that I wish I had.
What I went through wasn’t pleasant. But I could not have gone through it if I didn’t love sports as much as I did.
Plus, I wouldn’t be the coach (or person) that I am without those tough experiences.
This one wasn’t easy to write. Thank you for reading.