I Always Knew I Wanted Balance, Now I Know I Need Balance
Last modified 2 weeks, 4 days ago.
There was always one misery story that I aimed to avoid living as I started a professional fitness career in earnest about 10 years ago.
I had heard of this misery story time and time again.
It was the story of the burnt-out fitness trainer. I had first heard it in my teens in 2006, when the owner of a successful kettlebell gym personally told me, “Daniel, when you’re working sixty hours per week, you’re not going to be thinking about clean-and-presses.”
When I began taking health & fitness courses at the C.H.E.K. Institute in San Diego, I again heard this theme. Even the founder, Paul Chek, had relayed this in one of his recorded courses. In his late 30s, he had become so exhausted working, that he needed a handful of espressos to get through the work day. He felt suicidal, at times, too. He thought about chucking it all and becoming a monk.
It can happen to the best of us.
I am glad I never let myself get to that point. . . but I almost did.
It happened when I was working hard at a new job. Getting up before dawn, doing my own routine at 0500 hours, then coaching, studying, and commuting back and forth to the gym a few times per day (two hours of commuting). I made myself available 65 hours per week. I was on my own, too, doing everything that needed to be done… errands, laundry, meal prep, and even cleaning up after dirty roommates (yes, I know, what a pain in the neck).
At work, the story darkened, as the manager gradually started flipping their behavior. They started off very helpful and kind, but then a different side of them started to come out.
For example, when I went to ask the manager a question, they scowled at me and waved me off, like I was a child. Once, when I was exercising, they just told me to stop in the middle of my routine. No explanation was given in either situation.
When a client did a “no call, no show,” they berated me in public and in front of other employees. They were fuming that I had not confirmed the appointment myself. They could not fathom why I had not called. I guess they forgot that before, when I had volunteered to call a prospective client to confirm an appointment, they said, ‘No, don’t bother, that’s just more time to screw up the deal.’
They were becoming insufferable. But I did not panic (I had grown up a bit, I suppose). I took a few days to think about what to do.
I gave some of the workload to my intuition and spirit. Then, ah, ha! I woke up a few days later with a solution!
I decided I would just be at the gym as little as possible. I would just show up, coach people, and get the heck out of there! (I’d use stronger language, if I could). No more studying or doing my own workouts there. I wouldn’t even have lunch there. I would just get in and get out! Any time beyond on that was just an opportunity for me to be attacked more.
I showed up ready with my new plan. I felt confident I could survive the situation and move forward.
But the jerk had really come out of them. They sat me down (again) and told me that I could no longer write exercise programs for clients. This was going directly against what was agreed upon before I took the job. I had no desire to babysit clients and run them through pre-made exercise templates. It’s not what I do. It’s not fair to the clients, either.
I went outside, took a walk for about 30 minutes, and came back . . .
I put my keys on the desk, walked up to the manager, and Quit (with a capital "Q")!
The manager later contacted me quite unhinged. They accused me of sending "nasty text messages." I sent one absolutely-benign message to a former client. They threatened to take everything I own. I laughed, because I had done nothing even remotely illegal. And besides, I don't own much... what were they going to take? My gym shoes and shorts? They called me pathetic. Well, OK, OK... I guess they had a point there. Anyway, on a serious note, they just showed their true colors, and . . .
I was very relieved to have left.
Most importantly, I learned the need for real balance. I would never again be fighting against others to preserve the quality and integrity of my work as a fitness professional. I would never again come close to living out my own misery story. I always knew I wanted balance, but now I know I need balance.
[What’s my gameplan? Check out this great article, called “How To Do What You Love and Make Good Money,” to get a strong idea of my current strategy.]
POSTSCRIPT–After I quit the job, someone close to me said, ‘Before you took the job, that manager gave me a bad feeling. I thought they were a jerk.’ I joked, ‘Why didn’t you tell me that BEFORE?!’